Yet another life lesson I have recently learned from my wife, “you do you”. Like most useful things, there is much to unpack here. It is analogous to “just forgive”. The real benefit of forgiving is in the freedom it affords the one doing the forgiving. It only looks like we are doing it for others. We forgive others to free ourselves. We allow others to be themselves to allow ourselves to be free, and in the process they free themselves as well. I love win-wins! Have you ever seen a loved one of a victim when they discover the power in forgiving the person who did such harm to their family? We have the power to make ourselves miserable or free.
Also, as is the case with any useful learning, it is embarrassingly simple and obvious and inevitable. Row, row, row YOUR boat Gently Down the stream…..life is but a Dream! Funny how profound many of our early memories are. Maybe adulthood is about actually learning our childhood lessons.
Also, allowing others to be themselves is a brave and optimistic act. Who knows what they will become? Do they even know? When one feels accepted for being themselves, exactly as they are in that moment, proudly flying their virtually new in the box freak-flag, only love can flow. Even if the “them-self” in that moment is commonly considered by society to be ugly or problematic or even harmful, it is so much easier and healthier to take it out of the closet for exploration and possible evolution. Or not! Maybe the “them-self” is largely incompatible with your true-self. Maybe you and they will flow through wonderful periods of resonance and connection only to go through dark scary periods of separation or incompatibility. Let it be, how could it be otherwise? Is there really free will?
Is this really yet another casting of one of the three laws of thermodynamics? I will allow myself to be me and be amazed at this! Of course, should it not have been obvious at first the one that is being allowed to be themselves can often be the one offering the space…..Let yourself be yourself! Is this really simply because we are not only all connected but actually part of one total “Is” or “All” anyway. Duality is really just so silly! Taste great IS less filling!
If you love organizing things, then organize. If you love spontaneity, then be spontaneous. We are of course social beings and need to find a way for each of our unique U be U paths to coexist. Don’t judge. Be kind. Be brave. In proactively allowing those around us to be themselves we learn how to ask for the same in return, without fear or guilt or hesitation. We all started out innocent and malleable and full of potential. How could we be any way other than exactly that way today, separated at most by a finite number of reversible steps?
