Unpacking who I am has been a lifelong project. It can feel disorienting. I cycle through the stages of denial in seeming perpetuity. Things become crystal clear and then morph into a dystopian B-movie dream sequence. Depression? Anxiety? Fear? Self-doubt? Sure, maybe? Attachment to false permanence? I can’t tell if I secretly desire to become […]
Deep fear of failure Read More »
Blog, Dark Clouds, It will be okay
Another title that just flowed effortlessly out of me. Channeling? Seeing without looking? The same repackaged message as always? Just another way of saying be present, or live in the Now, or there is only Now? Yes, of course, with the caveat that words are only the map and not the territory. All my models
I’ve been thinking about this post for quite a while. It seems more relevant every day. It seems more obvious, more vital, more impossible, more simple as well! There is no try, do or do not. The world is becoming more depersonalized, more digital, more tribal, more angry, more corporate, more artificial intelligence and less
Reconnecting with our humanity Read More »
Blog, Dark Clouds, Inspiring, It will be okay
Walking across a really crowded Costco parking lot a few days ago I noticed someone smile at me. It was a real smile, a hopeful, kind, no-agenda smile. I instinctively blurted out “you have a great smile”. I’m prone to such things. She slowed down as if processing what I was saying. She replied “thank
Just be kind; we are all stressed Read More »
Blog, Dark Clouds, Inspiring, It will be okay, Tool Box
Over two hours to clean less than 150 ft2 of a wooden deck. But, boy did I learn a lot! I can always learn a lot if I just pay attention, if I am simply present and curious. It really doesn’t matter what the activity is and it really doesn’t even matter what the lessons
What I learned cleaning the deck Read More »
Blog, How Stuff Works, It will be okay
Control is an illusion. Actually, everything is an illusion, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’ve struggled with emotional regulation essentially for as long as I can remember. Somedays (like today) when I am really challenged I start down one of many unhealthy spirals. Sometimes I catch myself and sometimes not. Sometimes friends and
Control is an illusion Read More »
Blog, How Stuff Works, It will be okay, Tool Box
This is a post about agency. It is also about determination and hope. It began life as an exploration on whether honesty is dead or not but I needed something much lighter and more hopeful today. At this moment I need to cry tears of joy and appreciation and not those of fear. I feel
We choose where we place our gaze Read More »
Blog, Dark Clouds, Inspiring, It will be okay, Tool Box
There is so much to learn. For a day, or really better yet a lifetime, just observe. Don’t judge, which will help prevent getting angry or feeling entitled or any of those other distracting things. Just observe. What makes me mad? How does my body feel when this or that happens or is said or
Just be an observer for a day Read More »
Blog, Inspiring, Play Spaces, Tool Box
Is everyone simple like me? I know that it can be a dangerous trap to fall into thinking that everyone is like us. The average of one million and a negative million is zero, just as is the average of one and minus one or a single ten and ten negative ones. Is everyone else
Is everyone simple like me? Read More »
Blog, How Stuff Works, Inspiring
If you look at most any problem in the world, poverty, war, genocide, environmental destruction, all the biggies, and the smaller ones playground fights, cheating on tests, the FBS bowl selection committee process (!), they all begin with fear. Fear of not getting our fair share, fear of not having enough to go around, fear
Fear is the root of all evil Read More »
Blog, Dark Clouds, How Stuff Works, It will be okay