I’ve realized for some time now that the best version of myself, the version that is most giving and loving and supportive, the version that spreads the most joy outwardly, and the version of me that gives me the most joy, is Trail Ray. Trail Ray is who I become when I’m on the trail. When I’m trekking through the Pacific Northwest, those many hundreds of miles a year, centered mostly in the North Cascades in the summer months, from late May through mid October. It’s truly a win-win perpetual motion machine. I think it must violate the laws of thermodynamics. I get out on the trail, and the beauty and the air and the endorphins and the wonderful people on it experiencing the same thing create this positive reinforcing loop of upwardly spiraling goodness. I am sometimes not really sure if it is real or not. I do have photographic evidence however. Maybe bigfoot is also out there on Yellow Aster Butte or Ptarmigan Ridge with me.
What the heck is Trail Ray, you may be asking. Aren’t you just Ray? No, none of us simply are just one person. We’re an amalgam or a committee of different components, different functions, different identities. That’s the basis of one type of counseling work called Internal Family Systems, where the idea is to identify the component of yourself that’s stuck or getting triggered or is unwell and figure out how to honor it, try to see what it needs, try to repurpose it so it’s getting what it needs and not and not at the expense of the whole you. So I’ve got Trail Ray, I’ve got 7-year-old Ray, I’ve got Perfectionist Ray, Caretaker Ray, and probably about a dozen other important ones, as you likely do as well. And Trail Ray is one of my favorites, maybe my favorite. Trail Ray is so positive and optimistic and brave and giving and simply happy. I routinely meet and talk with and get a bit of the backstory of several people for each hike I take. I’m still in contact with several people that I’ve met on hikes. It’s truly my happiest, most joyous, most bodhisattva self.
As I type this I am preparing to venture back up to our trailer in the mountains for a planned Sunday/Monday back to back Trail Ray excursion. We just came back two days ago from our last trip up there in which I covered over 43 miles climbing over eleven thousand feet in search of Trail Ray. This summer, despite a record number of acres burning in Washington state filling the August air nearly half the time, was epic. This trip will be a bit bittersweet as I know it will be the last big stretch of time up there until 2027 and possibly the very last trip of any length this year. It is so hard to put Trail Ray to bed for the year, along with the bears, golden and otherwise. The reduced safe options to hike in the winter greatly reduce both the amount of time for Trail Ray as well as the quality of the interactions on the trail. Being all bundled up sometimes in snow isn’t as conducive to human connection as sitting in my shorts and t-shirt at the top of a mountain.
I wonder if we will ever decide to try splitting our time between the Pacific Northwest and someplace like Patagonia so that my wife and I can effectively get two summers per year, one in each hemisphere. Thankfully my wife also thrives on the trail. I’m not sure if the world could handle that much Trail Ray or not 🙂. I would love to find out though!
