I have learned many times that the obstacle is the path. But recently I really learned it. I finally tackled something that was actually keeping me up in the middle of the night. Getting resolution on this issue was only the beginning of the powerful epiphany I had that day. I am convinced that in some cosmic way that significant life lesson changed me and the world around me. I was not the same person for the rest of the day, heck for several days. I learned so many other lessons as well in this air-pocket of space. I understood as well that nothing is permanent, that everything is good-enough, and a whole host of other lessons. Then moments later had one of the best conversations I have ever had with someone, literally a stranger who is now a friend. My fear retreated into the shadows. I finally saw the whole landscape of my obstacles, and hence the path that I was walking and what may lay before me, on the other side of that obstacle.
If we accept that the obstacle is the path it transforms the obstacle from something that is feared and avoided to something that is celebrated and even sought out. How powerful! It is still the same “thing”, but now it gives us strength rather than draining it. And the land on the other side of the “obstacle”, how expansive, virgin, and fertile! There are numerous, maybe an infinite-ish number of opportunities (or obstacles) in the offing, some standing clearly visible like a mountain peak and others hidden around a blind corner. But they are there. Thank God that they are there!
Obstacle Granite Triangle (why not name them?) for me was similar to the classic quality triangle. The quality triangle is (in my own words) the belief that every project has a unique relationship between cost, quality, and time. You can go faster at the expense of cost/quality, make it cheaper by sacrificing quality/time, or make it better by spending more money and or taking longer. You cannot generally improve all three simultaneously. Granite Triangle (I also decided to capitalize it for me) was one of ethics, safety, and cost. Confusingly, for me ethics has a huge safety component to it as does cost, because safety is my primary challenge I am learning (again and again). Who said life was an explicit function!
Last year I had hired someone to do my taxes. After numerous drafts, for all of which I found glaring errors in I was in the uncomfortable position of feeling trapped. I couldn’t simply fire him without risking a lingering problem of worrying that he would eventually sue me for payment. I am not good at putting things out of my mind that are unresolved, it would just sit there festering for a long time. I could not simply pay him the fee and sleep at night as he did not deliver anything I could use, without feeling terrified that I was wasting money (which for me is inexorably linked to safety) and compromising my ethics, nor could I have him continue working on my taxes without worrying about eventually filing taxes that I knew had errors (safety). And I could not just fire him and hire someone new without feeling vulnerable (safety) and ethically challenged (he did perform work after all, even if it was all in error). By the time we got to draft number four I saw that this was a wonderful opportunity to explore what was on the other side of Granite Triangle. I crafted a succinct email offering two options, stop and receive no compensation or continue working with the promise that all issues be resolved by the end of the week, with of course no guarantee that by the end of the week the only option available would be to finally accept the first option as inevitable and just stop and go our separate ways. I truly did not care which he chose, and I communicated such. This was the biggie….I really did not care; I took my emotions out of it. He chose to just stop (first option). I have to admit, I felt relief. I stood up for myself. I risked. I was simultaneously kind and firm and clear. I felt clean.
The land on the other side of Granite Triangle is wonderous! It has calm babbling brooks and even sunny meadows (are those storm clouds in the far hills?). Of course, there will likely be blind turns ahead on the horizon. Who knows what is around those corners, there could be dark foreboding winds and sharp cliffs? There could be chocolate unicorns or perpetual motion machines. There could be all or some or none of these. There might be an even taller scarier looking Granite Triangle. I sure hope so! I do not look backwards in sadness for all the missed opportunities to summit this triangle earlier in life the many times I have stood at its base. I only look forward with confidence knowing that all my future challenges will be made less scary having learned and internalized these lessons on Granite Triangle.
