Life is not infinite. It is not perfect. Life is not all-or-nothing. Life is a precarious balancing act between wants and needs and safety and adventure. We have all heard that time is money, but it is so much more than that. Time can also be used or substituted for safety. Time can be spent on ego or identity. Time even can be substituted for abilities and strengths.
We can have ultimate safety in travel by not traveling. If we want to trade some safety for speed we can walk, or better yet ride a bike. Continuing to trade in safety for efficient travel we can get in a car or a plane (actually driving to the airport is much more dangerous than actually getting on the plane). We can drive 50 mph or 100 or even faster. I personally always wear a seat belt and have my regular maintenance and carry insurance on the vehicle. I’m sure I could actually extend my oil change cycle 50% for the next five years and not suffer extra costs or delays. But that is not a trade-off I am willing to make.
This inherent yin/yang structure of personal development and economics and football play calling is only part of the story…the other component is the management aspect. We are in control. We have free will. We can dial up the risk or the reward as the time and place and circumstance informs. It is not about destinations rather processes and journeys. Having struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember I am now comfortable with the notion that I am managing them. I have not cured them, they pop up from the shadows some days, but I manage them. We manage safety and happiness and peace. We manage our relationships and responsibilities. We manage our sanity and civic engagement. We manage our finances and dreams.
We are never completely safe nor totally happy; nor are we in complete peril or misery. I dare to suggest that as we move further and further into a digital future (all ones and zeros) we are falling victim more easily to the false notion that life is by its very nature dualistic. It isn’t. Neither is our management of life.
This is not just a challenge for children or folks with emotional regulation, it is a challenge for all of us. Maybe I am completely wrong. Maybe it is only a challenge for me? I know that I struggle with trade-offs. I tell myself I can eat what I want and be as physically fit as I want. I can both greatly minimize risk to my family’s financial wellbeing while smartly reading the future and enjoying handsome investment gains. We are not omnipotent nor omniscient. We are not perfect or immortal or able to foretell the future.
We all manage things differently. Some skydive while others wear a helmet in their own backyard. Sports cars and minivans can coexist. We may run or ski at certain stages of life but not others. I never play basketball or go on my roof for maintenance before going on a vacation. I don’t want to get hurt right before traveling. Life is fluid.
Some of us likely never think about some of our trade-off management choices. I’ll never buy a car that has poor IIHS crash data. I no longer run as the threat to my joints seems no longer worth the tremendous joy I (used to) get from running. BUT, I hike a lot more now than a few years ago….trading the endorphins and weight management and immediacy of running for the joy and stability of (slowly) walking up mountains.
Maybe another way to say this is “you are alright”. You are good enough and safe enough and productive enough. Often one topic loops back to another one as they are all really just different flavors of the same truth, different colored sign posts point towards the ever-changing tomorrow. The real tomorrow, not our conception of tomorrow. And the real tomorrow of tomorrow, not of today.
Some cannot imagine missing a single election while others have never registered to vote. We may love certain foods or discussion topics or times-of-day but we decide that some of these are not available in relation to certain people or places. I think that I am now going to trade in my desire to continue writing for the anticipated benefits of giving in to the pull of my pillow. Night night!
