We know that if we grow the healthy thoughts and actions in our lives we will benefit. Similarly, if we learn to reexamine and redirect the bad we also help ourselves a lot. We may need to start with simply resisting or rejecting the bad, which is a good start, but reevaluating and redirecting the bad allows for more happiness. There is always the seed of good in bad, so discovering what that is and growing that kernel of good is more sustainable than trying to rely on willpower alone to resist gossip, addictions, and the like.
A powerful force to grow within ourselves is gratitude. Every morning (I try) to begin with reflecting on four concrete things that I have gratitude for. They need not be four new things every day, just four things that strike you that morning as components of your life that you feel help you a lot. I often reflect on my (relatively) good health, supportive relationships, and abundance of the basics of life (food, shelter, heat). Sometimes I grow my gratitude for the works of John Coltrane or a particularly beautiful sunrise. The point is to notice all the beauty in our lives and grow our invisible internal chemical pathways and gray matter functioning.
Taking my good health as an example, first I reflect on some actual real person that has helped create this item that I have gratitude for. For example, I often thank my doctors, my yoga instructor, my wife, my counselor; all of the numerous real people that help me stay healthy. Next I thank myself. I acknowledge that my own health is something that I grow each day through countless decisions and actions. I honor myself and recommit to continuing my support of the things that feed me. Last I thank God for creating this fortune in my life. If you are not a religious person you could thank your lucky stars, the universe, karma, serendipity, or luck. The same formula is repeated for the next item that I have gratitude for until all four of my morning celebrations are considered. Growing a sense of gratitude and appreciation for a real person, then yourself, and last whatever non-human forces were at play helps change the way one looks at the world. It helps strengthen the positive neural pathways and repurpose the unhealthy ones. I then repeat this entire exercise as I am lying in bed just before dozing off. I am a firm believer in starting and ending each day with as much positivity and health as possible as a way to influence the conscious day as well as the unconscious night. There really is no reason to not do this anytime we have free time, modeling the Muslim tradition of daily prayer five times a day or the Catholic tradition of praying the rosary.
I assume that I am not alone in “forgetting to take my medicine when I am feeling good”. The times that I have caught myself falling out of practice with this vital daily ritual have been those that times that all seemed to be going really well for me. But, it is just as important to strengthen our helpful skills when we are healthy as when we are ill. I am hoping that my daily gratitude exercises can become as automatic as my nightly tooth brushing and flossing. I know that I will be happier and healthier if this becomes true. I know that those around me will also become healthier and happier as well. I am certain that if we all could incorporate a similar practice in our lives the world would be happier as well.
Note: I learned this practice from a friend of mine, Dr. Doron Raphaely.
