Sometimes I just feel “blue-screen-of-death”. I feel as if I am so far off of what is normal for me, so far from my ideal self, from my daily routines that the only way to get back is to simply reboot. A few weeks back I decided to hit Ctrl-Alt-Del. I’m just now coming back online. Thankfully I don’t seem to crash as frequently as when I was running an earlier operating system!
We are all systems, and more correctly systems of systems. Change one thing and you change everything. Stop meditating for several weeks and (my) anxiety starts to creep up. My anxiety starts to creep up and it makes it harder for me to meditate….round and round I go. Doesn’t matter whether it is exercising or meditating or seemingly any activity, either I have a hard time missing a day or I have a hard time re-establishing a routine. I guess they are all routines, some consist of actions and others of non-actions. Traveling for several weeks abroad, eating and drinking everything around me and soon I feel bloated and craving certain food and my nightly beer or wine or both. Ctrl-Alt-Del via a dry month along with loads of veggies and nuts and olive oil and the things I usually put in my mouth.
Start all over with my to-do list for the year. Take out a clean sheet of paper and without consulting my old list that reflected what seemed important months ago, build it anew from the bottom up. Add a few things that I am nearly done with just to set myself for success. You won’t tell anyone will you?
Review my New Year’s “visioning 2024” document that I so logically and earnestly put together just a few months ago by grading myself on each item from the list. The result, the lowest GPA I have ever had in my life by a really long way. I mean “is he going to graduate” kind of result. Recommit, prune the unrealistic, move up the really important. Hold myself accountable but do so with compassion and grace. C-A-D.
Go through the deep freezer chest and get rid of the things that seem like they belong in an antique store in Siberia by now. Dump out everything from “the drawer” in the kitchen, sort into a couple baskets for “basement”, “now” and of course “trash”. Consciously put everything into one of those baskets or back into the drawer. The drawer closes easily again. Pat self on back.
Do the annual power washing of the deck and front steps early in the year (now) while the weather is summer-like so as to not let it become a tri-annual event. Missing last year was bad enough, and it made this year more difficult. Note to self, there really are no free lunches.
Can I hit C-A-D for the hairs on the top of my head which only seem to be thinning and not returning to their former glory?
One of my favorites 🥰