“I am doing the best that I can”! No, not really. Technically we never are. And on one level this is perfectly fine and essentially inevitable. On the other hand, if we think that we are doing our best then we are deluding ourselves and likely giving ourselves permission to not succeed nor even try all that hard really.
The overarching concept here is hyperbole. This is the single most important thing that you will ever learn, just kidding. “Best burger in the West”, “perfect defensive series by the home team”, “stupidest thing that I have ever heard”, “I am doing my best”? It seems at times that society today is held together by these ubiquitous cheap dangerous overstatements.
Generally, less is more. Cut some words out. Short succinct communication. I am (insert action). Maybe ask for feedback or acknowledgement. Maybe actually listen! For bonus points incorporate what you hear and course correct. No need to do your best, since that is impossible.
What would it take to do your best? It would take stopping all action and thought immediately (which is also impossible) and devoting all that energy in a reversible way (meaning really really perfectly (perfect ….danger word!) slowly ) so that it could in theory be reversed at every moment along that path with no loss of energy. Oh yeah, and that would have to be done for all eternity. There, now you (or I or our State or group or Nation or whatever) is doing our best.
Best. Perfect. Immediate. Dangerous hyperbolic building blocks. Why start from a faulty imaginary base to build your reality? Are you satisfied with what you are doing? Did you consciously decide on what resources to devote to the task, and deploy that much plus or minus whatever adjustments that seemed best as you were “doing it”? There is not even a need to provide commentary on our actions. We do or do not. We can always do more or do less or do differently or redeploy those resources to something else. Others, unless they request so and we agree, do not need status updates. We are doing it to sooth our anxiety. What are we really communicating? Are we even talking to others or just to ourselves?
Why would I want to do my best at painting a picnic table that I am building? I’ve already bought decent materials, have a good enough design, painted the surfaces reasonably well. Rather than spending the rest of my life or maybe even just ten more minutes working on the X% of the surface that didn’t coat properly, maybe I should write in my journal, or go for a walk, or practice guitar, or paint a picture for fun, or all of this or none of this or maybe just take a nap!
We only have so many hours and so many breaths. We have but a finite number of first kisses and sunrises to witness or not. I certainly did not do my best communicating my ideas, nor even forming them perfectly. But that is just A-OK. I am content. I think that I have learned something. I hope I have helped a few other people to look more deeply as well. I feel clean enough for now. Enough is a great word. Silence.
