The only thing holding us back from bliss is us! Let go of anger and expectation and regret and worry and everything else. It is like the feeling after completing your last test at the end of the semester, or walking out of school on the final day….exhale. I am looking at you in the mirror there! Maybe this time I will listen to myself. Let go of control, it never was real anyway.
I am letting go of my childhood and parenting and COVID and past dumb investment decisions and missed opportunities and never playing baseball or downhill skiing or learning to play an instrument. Hair on my head, I loved our time together, but I guess I need to let you go too! It is so kind of you to keep my eyebrows extra bushy now to remind me that you care. Youth you are free to fly away, flap flap young one! I allow and encourage you to leave the nest and be free!
Smoke free summers and the Supreme Court, friends that have been slipping away for years, starting a tech company and running a marathon (really running at all). I’m still planning to write to Judge Roberts and start a non-profit and begin a speaking tour, but I’m letting go of lots of false entitlement and sense of agency. I’m letting go of victimhood and clairvoyance and fear. I am letting go of fear. I really really am and will return here to recommit weekly if needed. Won’t you join me?
But, this is not sad. I have you meditation and peace and lots of wandering around Europe as well as other points even more far flung and unfamiliar. There is more good content to stream everyday, more than I could ever watch or read if I had a couple extra lifetimes; and it grows and grows. I have my really close friends and loved ones.
I never bought bitcoin when it was $100, let alone $1. I forgive myself, I let it go. It was never my path to follow. I let go of the myths and mirages and windmills I have chased. I let go of the past and the future. I let go of all non-now. I let go of not living anxiety-free or finding magic bullets. I am not as bad as I fear, and that “me”is let go of, as is the benevolent Ray, the innocent Ray, the omnipotent one and so many many others.
I do not let go of love, compassion, courage, wonder, or hope. I hold you close, but not too tightly. I know that you are in me and of me and of you and what connects us to each other and to our former and future selves. Those wonderful manifestations give form to deep breathing and sunrises in front of Mt. Shuksan. I do not save those energies in a bottle, but rather use them everyday like water and air.
If you need to borrow a cup of any of them just stop by. The more we share the more we have.
