If a child were to tell you that they were terrified of a monster in their closet, you would likely explain that there is no monster, therefore nothing to worry about. If an adult said the same thing most people would assume that the adult has a mental illness and would then try to direct that person to a mental health care professional. Yet many of us spend years fighting the fear and associated medical problems related to other “imaginary things” like past actions and future developments.
There is no “I should have chosen X and not Y” that is going to harm us unless we let it. Similarly, future stock market crashes, university admissions decisions, and “the big earthquake” do not exist. They may exist someday. But right now, they don’t. And though some of them are essentially guaranteed to exist at some point, they do not exist right now. Right now, today, millions maybe billions of people are suffering mental anguish and physical pain and illness because of things that do not exist. Mea Culpa!
This is another way of saying practice mindfulness. Live in the moment. The future will never arrive. It will always be today. Every day of your life will be today. Every moment of your life will be this moment. The past cannot be redone. It is over, living on only in photos and memories. Why not decide to select only the healthy happy productive memories to keep alive? We don’t usually frame a picture of our broken collar bone or a typhoid outbreak in a rural African village and put it on the coffee table. So, why do we choose to keep reliving, reframing, reconsidering the memories that cause is to have weakened immune systems and develop ulcers?
It can be freeing to just acknowledge this reality from time to time. To admit that much of what causes us sleepless nights and extended illnesses is wrapped up in some “thought” or “worry”. To know that if we can change our thoughts we can change our bodies and our lives is empowering. As daunting as it is at times to fight back against our own brains I would still rather have rumination be the root cause of my current illness than a bacterial or viral infection. There is more under our control with changing thoughts than will changing immune response. Though in fairness, often the “mental” challenge leads to a “physical” illness. And unfortunately at times we find ourselves in an unhealthy feedback loop (not feeling well making it difficult to exercise which makes us not feel well, which…..)
Fresh air, lots of water, good sleep habits, minimizing drugs and alcohol, spending time with people and animals we love are good places to start in healing our bodies and minds. Walks, quiet meditation, gardening, petting an animal, smelling things that remind us of happy times and places, these are some of the things we can do to grow our health. Just like we have a plan for natural disasters, we buy supplies and practice with family members on where and when and how, we need to develop a plan to react to “mental and/or physical” disasters. We need to learn our triggers and patterns and we need to know who and what can help us when we are in need. With good honest planning and self-assessment, there is no need to suffer as much as we do.
