I hiked a bit in college and really enjoyed it but somehow allowed most of the following twenty years to unfold largely hike-free. But once we moved to the Pacific Northwest when I was forty and I went on my first hike I was hooked. Hiking is sacred to me. It is the best of nature and the best of me and the best of nearly everyone you meet all at once. I was fortunate to have another amazing day this week on Yellow Aster Butte (YAB) and if all goes as planned will have another meaningful day tomorrow climbing up to the high divide on Hannagen Pass.
It was my second visit to YAB this summer hiking season. I went on it earlier in the season than I ever have before. The wildflowers were amazing. The snow was very easy to manage and the forest road was entirely reasonable considering they have virtually no money.
The beginning of that hike is so interesting as one climbs up through the ferns and other greenery crowding the trail. The hillside across the valley is steep and always a complex pattern of countless shades of green. If people are quiet (a bit of a problem honestly that day) you can hear the waterfalls and creeks all around you. You can see and hear the marmots. You duck in and out of the forest until you reach a big bowl you traverse around steadily climbing until the final big push up to the summit. Actually the false summit. Nearly everyone stops there as I did that day. The true summit is only 62 feet higher across a saddle and some days I have the gas in the tank and some days I don’t! Some people get worked up when they learn that what they thought was the summit was “only” the false summit. Silly people!
Each day the air is different. So too is the light and my body and my mind. The world at large is not static either. Each day on the trail is unique. Somedays it is more about the views of far off mountains and others the little drops of dew being cupped by leaves at my feet. Some of my favorite days have come in clouds and near fog. Other times similar conditions aren’t as magical and I need the “red-flavored” candy weather. I am never sure how much of this difference in experience is due to me or to the world outside of me. Sometimes it is about the connections and others about peace or clarity I might be fortunate enough to gain.
I always have lots of time to think on the trail. I am always bouncing between being “in” me and “in” nature. I always discover something new in both realms. Thankfully my back and hip problems are best behaved when I am moving. I am so grateful for that.
I always get little flashes of fear on the trail. Fear that I know I have yet to feel this safe, this purposeful, this honorable, this content when I am not on the trail. June 24th to October 23rd. That is basically the summer hiking season in the mountains. The snow has melted out enough to make the Snow Lake reachable (for my level of risk) by late June and the first significant snows chase me off of Mt. Baker by mid to late October. It is of course nature with its bears and cliffs and other dangers which can never be forgotten. There is no Yin without Yang.
The trail is a lovefest. Nearly everyone is in the same trance, feeling the same gratitude, and wanting to connect. It is the antidote to the tribal dumpster fire that the world seems to be currently determined to be. It all makes sense on the trail. We are all beautiful on the trail. Everything is right on the trail.
Other little flashes of fear for me center on the fragility of the experience. My body ages and someday I will have my final time on this trail, on each of my favorite trails. I will likely not know this until well after that final day. It is better to have loved and lost……The wildfire smoke seems to get worse each year. It is so painful when the only standing between me and sacred time on the trail is wildfire smoke. I only hope I am learning to be even more appreciative of the days that are smoke-free. Every threat is a challenge. Every darkness is a call to light. And there is always pressure to commercialize our natural national treasures. That is the real fear.
Waiting to hike tomorrow I feel like a high schooler only able to think of that cute girl, that one I hope feels for me as I feel for her. The one that is the whole world. Longing for connection and a little fearful that it will not come to be.
